Today

I have changed so much in the last three years.  Many things need no introduction, as they were already present in the past; more of a seedling that the growth stage they are at now.  I am going to write my memoirs, I figured I had a slacious enough life, why the heck not. Peace and many blessings!

Higher than This

At current, I am listening to Ledisi's latest and am feeling very priviledged to be able to understand what spirit is being conveyed. I recently had contact with a few BLASTS FROM THE PAST, and what I realized is that I have grown so much, leaps and bounds that I am almost brand new to these folks. What a miracle it has to be, to be growing?! As per usual, the same things that have been topic in these person's lives are still current, no changes, while I am GOING THROUGH CHANGES. (Cue music)

The lesson that I have learned most is to accept yourself for who you are, if you are simple, be simple. Don't change who you are to suit the environment, find where you fit in. Not saying that the behavior should be the same, we all should try to evolve how we react to our circumstance, but moreover let's try to be the same person that we were when we are most happy. For me, I am elated when I am able to laugh loudly, whether at myself, comedy or circumstance. So I put myself in places where it is appropriate to be gregarious. I take so many things seriously, it's just great to smile. Learn to let go of things, and learn to grow from ALL experiences.

Although I am not the P.G. that I was (party girl), I still like to get down every now and then, and for me that is enough. As Ledisi sings about, in Higher Than This, there is no love higher than the love that you have with your faith and yourself. It helps you to lift yourself to a world of love and acceptance, a place that is completely untouchable from the outside, where you feel safe and LOVED. I wish that we all find this place. Praises to God for giving me this gift. Because as Ledisi says, no one can love me like you do...Myself included.

Today, I am learning that there are all types of amazement. There is the one out of joy and delight. There's the amazement from others sheer stupidity.

And finally, there is the amazement out of complete disappointment.

Be amazed!

Well, time changes everything. Not in such a mood today, but the topic for me today is...Why?

Why do people take roles in life and then not live up to them? Why initiate authority in your life, in the lives that you affect and not take the position seriously? It is completely laughable to have yourself in a position in life and treat it as a thorn in your side. People will not respect you, they will not count on you, nor will they look to you as anything more than a complete idiot.

As a rule, mature adults do not follow orders. They tend to follow suggestions. So please remember whom you are dealing with.

Blame it on me

This morning was difficult, for many reasons. Today, my question about life is, why do people feel the need to destroy things that they do not understand? I understand that the unknown can be frightening, but why do people seek to destroy the unfamiliar and only realize that the thing that they destroyed is the one thing that they need most?

Case in point, I had a situation where I was accused of something terrible against my child. For years, I lived with the stigma that I was an outright horrible, cruel person and parent. That hurt me to the core. Only for the person that began the rumor to find out first hand that the presumption was wrong.

We as people need to think about what we do to sully situations before we jump to conclusions and initiate actions that can totally change the course of life. I now have to face people who do not know me, but believe that they know of me; and should I consider to have any relationship with them, I will need to calm their concerns.

But moreover, my major concern is me getting over the disdain that I feel for the person and thier actions. How do I get over it enough to resume a loving, trusting relationship? When trust is broken and destroyed, can it ever be restored? Can you ever fully respect someone that you do not trust?